Fishbowl

That's a little more like it

2011-09-27T09:07:00.000-07:00

It's weird how your perspective can change within a week.

Aside from my little meltdown in my last post, things have started to feel like their on the up-swing. I've been getting responses for this weeks event. I've got one of the moms making a snack for tonight. I actually finished my lesson for tonight yesterday, (The goal is to be three weeks ahead of the game, but that will come.) I'm starting to feel like I'm connecting with some of the students. It's really been an encouraging week.

I think that one of the most amazing things that's happened so far was last week. This episode was partially why I was freaking out so much.

Last Tuesday morning, while I was in a staff meeting, I got a phone call from Nic. She was very upset because we had received our very first phone and internet bill since coming to Saskatoon. It was a final notice (I'm not sure what happened the first, second and third notices because we never got them) and it was asking for an amount of money that there was no way we would be able to afford. It was so much in fact that if we were to pay it, we would not have had money for food or our other utilities. Naturally, my first reaction was to sink into despair.

The rest of the day was a flurry of activity. Some of the stuff was good, like having the senior pastor offer to help us out and Nic getting called to work for the first time since we moved here. Some of it wasn't so good, like having to plan games for a group of students when my heart wasn't in it.

That night, as the students were starting to show up to the church, there was a group of seniors gathered below us for a prayer meeting. One of the ladies from the group came into the youth room as I was wrapping up the leaders meeting and asked to talk to me. On a day like that one, I wasn't ready to consider the possibility that this would be a positive talk. At the time, all I could think was, "Great, now what have we done..."

As it turns out, she just wanted to tell me that her group had just finished up with a potluck and had some leftovers that they wanted to send home with us. They left us four days worth of food... She also informed me that her group had decided to make Nic and I their special project this year. She said that they'd be praying for us and then proceeded to hand me an envolope. They had taken a collection for us.

Turns out, the ammount they gave us was just a little more than the bill we had received that morning.

Like I said, I've been feeling very affirmed around here recently. God has a funny way of working in my life. The pattern has been that he'll take away any control that I have over a situation and make it so that they only way that we'll survive is to trust that he's going to do something miraculous. He's been doing that for us ever since we got married, and it's made me realize that I can trust him for more than our money.

I think that's why things are starting to work now.

Newbie

2011-09-23T13:27:00.000-07:00

I feel stuck right now. I know, I've only been at this job for two months, but right now, I just feel like I'm spinning my wheels.

I've seen some amazing stuff happen in my personal life over the past year.

-I've gotten married.

-I've almost graduated.

-I've moved.

-I've started my new job as a youth pastor.

-God has taken care of us in ways that I couldn't imagine.

-I've got an office with a desk and a stack of business cards.

It's all the stuff that I have been dreaming about for the past five years. I have never been in a better spot in my life.

So why the emo-ness then? Because I am currently in the process of discovering that I am depressingly new at all of this stuff that I've been training for and talking about and reading about and complaining about for my entire post-secondary career.

I'm discovering now more than I ever have before that just because I've been educated and have a stack of cards with my name and job title on them, I don't get an automatic in with the students in my ministry.

Right now, I've got a grand total of three students who aren't awkward around me. I've got five who actually interact with the lessons. The other 23 automatically slip into a glazed over state of semi-consciousness that's leaving me wondering what I've got to do to get them engaged.

I've given two lessons so far, not once have I gotten a laugh. For me, a guy who seemed to get a chuckle everywhere else, it's left me wondering what I'm doing wrong.

I've got an event coming up next week that I've been plugging for a month, and so far I haven't gotten a single response. Not even on Tuesday nights.

I'm trying something a little different this week. I'm going to see what happens. I know in my head that it's all just a matter of time before they start warming up a little bit, but in the mean time, it's hard facing a group of kids who don't really have a reason to care about what I have to say.

Sunday update #4

2011-03-06T19:38:00.000-08:00

I suppose I should through an update on here.

This week was relatively good. I managed to get some reading done, went to the gym, went to a planning meeting for a group project, stuff like that.

The good news is that I'm starting to see some results from going to the gym. Not in my waistline unfortunately, but I have been a little more energetic and my breathing's been a bit easier.

Aside from the gym though, change is still pretty slow. Is there anyone out there who can suggest some nominal changes that are manageable but will still make an impact?

Wednesday Update, (Sunday belated the sequel)

2011-03-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

Lifestyle change is difficult, and I am currently failing at it.

I could berate you with excuses as to why I haven't been updating when I said I would and why it's okay that I watched two episodes of Corner Gas, two episodes of How I Met Your Mother, and two episodes of Hiccups yesterday. I could throw in that a week long modular class is a pretty good reason to skip the gym and that by the time my wife was done she was always ready to go home so I had no time after class. The truth of the matter is, I haven't been trying very hard.

Today, I'm back in the saddle. I spent forty minutes at the gym, I'm reading for class directly after this and then I'm in class until 5:15. Tonight, because Nic and I have fallen in love with it, (and let's face it, how much can you really do together when you don't have money) we're going to watch a couple of episodes of Hiccups. Afterward, I'll read my non-school book for a while, clean and go to bed.

Another thing that I've started doing is actually using iCal. I know, crazy right? I took about four things away from my mod class last week, and one of them was the need to actually keep track of my time and how I'm using it. I'm not even close to figuring out how to use it effectively yet, but I'm sure that after a while I'll get the hang of it. It'll also be a little bit more useful once I get my iPhone... I need it to be summer... Now.

Sunday update #2 (Belated)

2011-02-21T11:48:00.001-08:00

Okay, so I fail at this whole self-discipline thing. I guess remembering to update once a week on a regular basis was a little over-ambitious.

Here's what my week looked like:

I went to the gym on Monday and Friday for 45 minutes each time. I would have gone on Wednesday, but my accreditation interview got in the way of that. P.S. I passed.
I started a new book that I read regularly instead of playing video games.
I got all of my homework done and got a jump on this weeks work.
I still watched more TV than I said I would so I'm thinking that needs to be looked into and either reevaluated or cracked down on.
We started cooking out of a Weight Watchers cookbook this week. I've never eaten so much green stuff in my life. Thankfully it's all surprisingly tasty and lasts more than one meal. I fell off the wagon at a wedding I attended, but I don't really mind.
I went online for more than 20 minutes a day, but still got all my work done and didn't feel like I was ignoring my wife all week. I think it had something to do with the times I was going on and what I was doing that was different.
I slept better this week than I have in quite a while.

My muscles are pretty sore today, a testament to how out of shape I truly am right now. Thankfully though, it doesn't feel debilitating. Here's hoping the next week keeps the momentum going.

Sunday update #1

2011-02-13T20:06:00.000-08:00

So Sunday has arrived. Here's the update.

Friday: The day went until about four at the school, we got home, made supper and read until bed, then we watched a couple of episodes of Corner Gas before falling asleep.

Saturday: We slept in and got ready to head out. Nic had a bachelorette party to head out to, and while she was gone, I studied for accreditation and started a new book.

Sunday: We got up, went to church, did a little shopping, came home, cleaned the house, read, had supper, cleaned the kitchen again, and that brings me to now.

Admittedly, this post is a little boring mostly because I made my declaration on Friday... I'm feeling good about next week. With accreditation coming up I can get into a more stable rhythm and make things work a little better. We'll see what happens in the next few weeks.

Turning over a new leaf.

2011-02-11T09:44:00.001-08:00

On the off chance that anyone still reads this, I have a confession to make.

I've got a serious problem putting things in priority and being motivated to do anything that doesn't result in a grade.

Here's a quick glimpse into the way that things are right now:

My relaxation time consists entirely of T.V. and video games.
I have not read anything outside of what I need to read for school since November.
I have not had any form of regular exercise since I left my job in October, and because of that I've gained about 25 pounds.
I have not been able to make much time for friends because I haven't budgeted my time well.

I've decided this year to make a massive change happen. I am going to become more intentional with the way that I spend my time:

T.V. and games are okay in moderation, so there will be a strict one hour per day combined time limit on these activities.
I'm going to start devoting more focused and regular time to school work.
I'm going to cut back my internet usage to 20 minutes a day meaning that I need to be careful about what I allot that time too, so facebook and youtube will be cut back a lot. This does not apply to school related internet use or email.
I'm going to start using the gym at the school while Nic is in class on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I'm going to spend at least thirty minutes in there each day she has class until the end of the semester.
I am going to do my best to find one book per month that is not related to my school work that I can read and learn from. In the summer time, I want to expand that.
I am going to budget my time in such a way that I can actually balance my marriage, my school work, my job and my friends.

I'm going to do my best (famous last words...) to update my progress every Sunday night. It's my hope that the accountability of making this public (such as it is) will motivate me to actually stick with this. Here's hoping.

I'm sure they mean well.

2011-02-09T11:20:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine recently called this video to my attention. It's a school project put together by some students. I'm not sure where and I'm not sure why.

I'm going to go and cry for a while...

Is this thing on?

2011-01-16T22:00:00.000-08:00

I'm not ignoring you... Really I'm not. Not that it's really an excuse for being a terrible updater, but I did just get back from my official honeymoon with my lovely wife. I've also enrolled in all of my classes for the semester. So far things are looking pretty good for the year. I'll update again when I've actually got something interesting to say.

Ashamed no more!!!

2010-12-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

The school year is winding down, and we are switching gears into full on Christmas holidays mode. As such, I am currently indulging myself with a little something that has never failed to bring me joy no matter what is going on in life. I am speaking of course about the greatest video game to have ever graced my eyes, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

I realize I'm a nerd, but I'm married to a super hot girl now so it doesn't matter. I don't have to pretend to be cool anymore!!! I will continue to play this game until I can play it no more!

Ambition is a killer.

2010-11-19T11:26:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was my last day working at Roofmart this year and let me tell you what a relief it is to know that I don't have to go back there until some time in the new year!

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed working there as much as one can enjoy working in a stock yard. The guys in the yard were great and the people in the office where... The guys in the yard where great! That's not really fair either. The people in the office were doing the best they could, there was just a massive communication gap between the yard and the office that caused a little bit of animosity. I will miss most of them as well.

The reason I feel the massive amount of relief is that now I'm not torn between two occupations: school and work. It was like being transported between worlds for a while. Work required that I get up early and commit my full attention to the yard for four hours on Mondays and nine hours on Tuesdays ant Thursdays. Meanwhile, school demanded nine hours a week of class time plus double that for homework and assignments. On Wednesdays class goes from 4:00 pm until 9:15 pm. That's not very nice when you need to get up the next day at 5:30 am in order to be at work for 7:00 until 4:30. It was a long day.

Now I have time to sleep properly and devote some serious time to studying and self-care. I also get to wake up with Nic every day now instead of sneaking around the house getting ready for work three times a week.

I'm looking forward to going back eventually, but for the time being, I'm relieved to be out for a while.

Newly socially stunted.

2010-11-17T18:16:00.000-08:00

I just deactivated my Facebook account. I don't feel so good... It kind of feels like I just lost a limb...Not an important limb mind you. It's odd to think that I just cut myself off from that much information.

There are a couple of reasons why I decided to loose Facebook account.

#1- This one is the biggie. I was getting three or four unsolicited messages to my inbox every week that were advertising porn sites with some very graphic profile pictures displayed to the side of the message. I've tried every filter on the site. They're still getting through.It's been happening for the last two weeks and I've had enough.

#2- I was spending way too much time on that site.

#3- It's on it's way out. I'm not willing to make a really bold statement on when it's going to regress to Myspace status, but it is on it's way.

#4- People's status's drive me insane. Stop making an obvious cry for help on a social website! Talk to your parents about it!!!

#5- I don't want my information to come from an impersonal medium anymore.

I'm not going to start preaching against Facebook here. I have no intention of turning other people away from something that is, for the most part, a great way to stay in touch with people. I'm just not interested in it anymore. The porn ads were what pushed me over the edge.

I may come back at some point in time. It might be soon due to the lack of connection with people. We'll see what happens.

Maximize the moment.

2010-11-12T10:05:00.000-08:00

Aside from the fact that he's obviously sitting with his mom, I've decided to live my life like this man from now on.

Thinking...

2010-11-09T16:58:00.000-08:00

I think what I enjoy most about going to Ambrose is the opportunities I have to talk to people about vocational church ministry. Call me a nerd but church stuff gets me excited. Youth ministry in particular gets me very excited, even if people are coming down on it.

For instance, the other day I was talking to a man who is currently the associate pastor at a decently large church here in the city. He is attending Ambrose for some reason or another. To be honest I'm not entirely sure why he's there taking a first year business admin class, but I digress. We were assigned to the same team to put together a group project. Naturally, after finding out that he is a pastor I had to probe his brain. Shortly into our conversation I asked him what he thought of youth pastors. Without even thinking about it, his response was, "They're lazy and whiny and I have no use for them. They basically want a free ride with everything and don't show enough commitment to their job." Needless to say, I was a little shocked at this reaction. After talking with him for a little while longer, I found out that his experience with youth pastors made his statement understandable.

This man came from a time when being a pastor meant being on call 24/7/365, a time when vocational ministry meant preaching on Sunday and holding down a job to support your family. The youth pastors he described were not willing to be that kind of a pastor. They wanted to be in a position where they could dedicate their time fully to ministry and still be able to provide for their families without the second job. This position is reasonable. However, they were also fiercely protective of their personal time to the point where they wouldn't even answer their home phones if they had clocked 40 hours in a week and overly sensitive to criticism of their ministry. They wanted massive budgets, seemingly unlimited "training resources" and the ability to do to the church building whatever they wanted. They wanted to play. These attitudes left this pastor basically embittered toward my entire field. I felt sorry for him. I also felt a sense of loathing toward the youth "pastors" who had frustrated this man so much.

It got me thinking, what kind of an impression am I going to leave of a church? What do I need to do in order to bring legitimacy to my vocation? How can I care for students and protect my time with my wife? How can I remain current without demanding that my church provide me with everything I see on the Youth Specialties website? Can I keep my budget planning reasonable and still have fun with students? Do I really need the church to provide everything for me? Where do I draw the line between my life and being and on-call pastor to students? Right now I don't have all of the answers to those questions, but I'm going to wrestle through them before I go into full time vocational ministry.

The next week I talked to this pastor again, and he opened up the conversation by apologizing for his harsh words. He told me that what prompted him to apologize was the fact that I didn't lash out at his criticism, but instead delved deeper into what had caused those feelings. He gave me some words of encouragement and affirmation and then we continued to work on our project. It's good to know that he's had at least one good experience with a youth pastor, even if I'm not out there yet.

Settled in

2010-11-07T14:16:00.001-08:00

I officially have all of my stuff in the house now! It took long enough...

Here's a piece of advice for any engaged person who happens to be reading this. Pack your stuff up before the wedding!!! Also, make sure you align your wedding with the termination of your previous lease agreement. I neglected to do either of these things and it turned into a major headache for everyone involved.

For the first, it feels like you're never done unpacking. We had four straight weeks of surprises coming from my old place that we still haven't found room for in the house. Some time in the next few weeks I need to root through it and toss all of the junk.

For the second thing, money is a royal pain in the butt and a tremendous source of awkward stress between friends. If all of the legal ends have been dealt with beforehand and everyone is paid up, things are great. If you bail on a rental agreement before the lease is finished, things tend to get complicated.

Thankfully for us, everything has worked out and I have managed to stay friends with my old roommates. Nic and I are well into our new life together which has been amazing every step of the way! I'm looking forward to the rest of the year!

Guess who I am!

2010-11-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

I love Halloween if for no other reason than it is a fantastic opportunity to bug the crap out of people who have taken their costume way too seriously! Try this some time - Go up to a person who is obviously dressed up as a character from a video game, (these ones usually work really well and are only second to people who dress up as anime characters) and purposely guess the wrong name several times in a row. When they attempt to correct you, insist that they are wrong and continue to guess. This activity can provide up to four minutes of frustrated hilarity before they either storm off or attempt to murder you with their plastic weapons. Be sure to wear eye protection in case they take the latter option.

I gave up trying to get people to guess who I was really dressed up as for Halloween this year, so I just started letting them call me whatever they wanted.

First person to guess who I was really dressed up as gets a Gold Star™* and is immediately entered to win the grand prize of a Platinum Star™**, worth approximately five hundred Gold Stars™!

*Gold Stars™ are a registered trademark of Redonks Cool Ltd. (All rights reserved) Gold Stars™ may be redeemed for a warm and/or fuzzy feeling normally associated with a false sense of accomplishment.

** Platinum Stars™ are a registered trade mark of this joke is so over now.

Stuffstuffstuffstuffstuffstuffstuff etc.

2010-10-16T08:41:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe it's already mid-October! This year has been an absolute blur! I guess that's what happens when you're going a bazillion miles a minute all of the time.

Things are still busy right now. Normally a three class semester would be no problem, but a part-time job and a new marriage makes that small course load more than enough to keep me busy and out of trouble.

This is one of the rare times that I have to myself when I'm actually at home. Most of the time if I'm not at work I'm at school and if I'm not at school or work I'm running errands, (mostly stuff related to being a grown-up like insurance, car maintenance, shopping for the new house, etc.) and if I'm not doing that we're both at home either working on school work, cleaning the house or feeling guilty for not doing something we're supposed to be doing.

Right now, Nic is off at her practicum for a training seminar and I'm at home sitting around in my pj's, playing guitar, listening to music and watching stupid videos on youtube. It's relaxing...

In about an hour I'm going to stop being lazy and clean the house while she's gone and get working on a project we're doing together. In the mean time, I'm going to enjoy the quiet and pour myself another coffee.

P.S. Please disregard the fact that the video is scrolling pictures from a tv show. Most of the time I pride myself on being able to find the official videos for these songs, this guy just doesn't have one and the song has been stuck in my head for the last two weeks.

2010-10-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

So yeah, I'm married now.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

*Ahem* It's okay I guess.

All about a girl.

2010-07-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, quick update on what's been going on:

1. Nic and I are facebook officially engaged!!! I'm so stoked about this that words on the internet wouldn't even begin to describe the joy I feel right now at the fact that this beautiful, talented and ambitious woman wants to spend the rest of her life with me!!! The wedding is on September 18th this year. I can hardly wait!!!

2. I've bought my ticket to go and see her in Kitimat and bring her home with me! I'm leaving on August 20th and moving her into our new place on the 27th. After the wedding we'll move my stuff in and then we get to officially start our life together. Awesome!

3. We're planning our honeymoon. We're not exactly sure where we're going yet, but we know it's going to be excellent cuz we'll be together.

4. I've discovered hair behind my ears and it disturbs me.

5. I love this girl!!!!!

I might do this again next month. Don't hold your breath though, we'll be a tad bit busy with the wedding and stuff.

Later!

Summer blog slump

2010-06-06T12:07:00.000-07:00

It's inevitably. The second summer hits, I leave this thing to rot on the internet. It's been over a month since I've even looked at this! However, I have returned with a barrage of excuses as to why I've been absent for the last month.

1. I finally found a job!!! I've been working at Roofmart for the last month. The job itself is a little boring, but at least the guys I work with are cool. Most of the customers are nice too. It's really only bad when guys doing piece work show up. They're always in a hurry and they never pre-order what they need. IT'S CALLED A PHONE YOU LOSERS!!! LEARN TO USE IT!!!

2. Nicola left for Kitimat last Sunday. All of my evenings up until last week were dedicated to cramming as much time in with her as I could before she had to leave. She found a job out there organizing and running the VBS program for her church. Only seventy seven days until she comes back! Upon her arrival there will be some very exciting news. It's gonna be awesome!

3. Calgary Transit. I love it dearly as it is far cheaper to ride the bus than it is to own and drive a car, but it takes 45 minutes to get to work and an hour and a half to get home. I need to wake up at five thirty in the morning to get to work for eight! Then I get off of work at four thirty (if everything actually goes according to plan in the yard) and then don't get home till six. By the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit a do this. I'd much rather be skyping and taking a shower. Not at the same time mind you...

4. There really hasn't been much to say up until now.

Exciting things that have happened to me recently other than getting a job have been meeting Nic's parents who are absolutely the best people I've met recently. My credit card information was stolen by some wandering hooligans who decided to take a trip to B.C. the cheapest way they could think of: by using my money. In other lame news, the U2 concert in Edmonton that Keilah and I were supposed to go to was canceled because Bono can't act his own age.

Other than that, I haven't really been up to much. Well, that's a lie, but I don't think I'll let that one go just yet. Stay tuned to this irregular feed to find out more.

Oh Canada...

2010-04-29T09:01:00.000-07:00

How is it that at the end of April there's enough snow and wind around Calgary to convince Santa to cancel Christmas? This is insane! Last week I was wearing shorts and sandals. This week I feel like I should be battling a giant snow beast with a laser sword and hanging out with Harrison Ford. (I just watched the Star Wars trilogy again so pretty much everything is relating to that right now. Best six hours of my life!)

It's been a little while since I updated this, so there's quite a bit to catch you up on. Here's what's been happening.

1. I found two jobs in the last couple of weeks!!! One is working for a place called Roofmart and the other is working for the catering company here at the school. From the way things are looking right now, it's going to be a good summer!

2. I'm moving into my new apartment on Saturday! We get the keys at noon. It's going to be a good day. For a while it was looking like I was going to have to camp out on an air mattress until I could afford a bed, but it turns out that I'm having one donated to me. Score!

3. Nicola might be staying in the city for the summer!!! This above all else excites me as I wasn't looking forward to crying myself to sleep every night for three months. Hopefully her job interview goes well.

4. I've been playing a lot of guitar over the last couple of days, and my oh my do my hands hurt. I've improved a lot over the last few days though. It's amazing what putting a decent amount of time into practicing will do for your skill level.

5. I've also been doing a little reading. I want to actually get through a few books this summer, mostly classic novels if I can get my hands on them. Last year while I was in Abbotsford I read Dracula and loved it. Now I'm into Robinson Crusoe and so far it's been really good. I'm also hoping to get through a few C.S. Lewis books this summer.

That's about all that's really exciting right now. I really wish that the snow would go away, but other than that life is good right now.

What is your quest?

2010-03-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

How can it possibly be this hard to land a job in a city this big!?! I've been tossing out resume's since January and I haven't gotten so much as a call back!

I guess I should start aiming a little lower and just get some cash flow happening. I've been applying at book stores and coffee shops all over the place, plus a bunch of other places that monster.ca has been recommending. Still nothing.

Today I'm swallowing my pride and taking a little trip over to the SuperStore and Zellars to apply. I don't like the idea, but whatever. A job's a job right? RIGHT!?!

Inquiring minds?

2010-03-18T23:20:00.000-07:00

Today I completed a seven hour assignment. What was that assignment you ask? To search for the meaning for three words that are used in the passage of the Bible that my hermeneutics class is studying.

"But Josh, you magnificent adonis!" you might say, "How could it possibly have taken seven hours to perform such a simple task!?" Well I'll tell you.

At first the assignment seems simple, find the word in a theological dictionary and regurgitate what the book says about the meaning and historical use. Then you find out that every theological dictionary on the planet has been written in Greek... Well, that's not entirely true. The definitions are all written in the English, but the words being defined are all written in Greek. As if that's not bad enough they randomly drop Greek words into the definition just to really mess with your head! Excuse me for not learning an ancient language before coming to your magnum opus Mr. General Editor! I'll leave you be now and get back to my little picture book with the buttons that play music!

So once you have finally tracked down the word you are attempting to decipher via six other books that finally lead you to it, you have to suffer through the definition itself. I swear these things are written by robots... Who in their right mind would actually take the time to write fifty six pages of background information on one word!? WHO!?! Most of the article doesn't even tell you the meaning of the word, just different texts in various parts of the world where the word has been used!!! These things were published in the 70's before information like this could be shared digitally... Who knows this stuff!?! How much time does it take to do this!?!

It wouldn't even be so mind boggling if it were all contained in one book, but no! These dictionaries are ten to fourteen volumes long!!! WHY!?!?!?!?!

Anyhow, long story short, each word requires a ridiculous amount of detective work and once you actually stumble onto the information you're looking for, it's about as dry as an AA meeting.

Yeah, I just wanted to complain... That and I've always wanted to describe myself as a magnificent adonis...

Things you shouldn't do

2010-03-15T13:47:00.001-07:00

About four weeks ago, I was content in the knowledge that next year I was going to be living in an apartment about three minutes walking distance from the campus with low rent, easy access to transit, a kitchen, a regular bathroom, and no curfew.

Three weeks ago I threw a wrench into the gears when I tossed my hat into the ever growing pile of applicants for the position of RA. I had decided earlier on in the year that I wasn't going to do this because I have lived in the residence for four years and feel like it's time to grow up and move on. The reason I decided to apply was because there were several people telling me that I should. That was my only real mistake, doing something because others thought I should.

I just found out today that I didn't get the position and I couldn't be happier. I know what I have ahead of me now, and it feels good to have a solid plan in place.

In retrospect, I felt absolutely no calling to this position and was dreading the idea that I might actually get it. To be certain I would have thrown my whole heart into the role, but the stress of even the idea was starting to get to me. It would have meant meetings upon meetings, lesson prep, conflict resolution, announcements, making sure rules are observed and no job for an entire school year. I know what I am called to right now, and RA just isn't it.

Right now, aside from the relief, I feel a little embarrassed that the words of the people around me could push me to do something that I knew in my heart of hearts wasn't the right decision. I put myself through a whole weekend of stress (with nothing but a cold and a sore back to show for it) not to mention the weeks leading up to today all for the sake of catering to the people around me.

It's an important lesson to learn: Know the voice of God and don't get caught up in pleasing people. Lesson learned, I'm going to be more careful when it comes to finding a church to work in later on.

Touch up

2010-03-13T22:04:00.000-08:00

Upon going through my play list, I discovered a fitting song that I probably should have put in my post yesterday, but since I've already got a song that I thoroughly enjoy embedded in that post, I'm just going to shove this one in up here.

Take it easy...

2010-03-12T21:37:00.000-08:00

I was first introduced to the idea of a tech free day by Mike when I was living in Abbotsford. All you do is go an entire day (or whatever length of time you deem appropriate) without any kind of electronic media. The reason behind it is basically this:

-We're surrounded by noise
-Most of that noise comes from stuff that's plugged into the wall
-Most of the noises coming out of those things are messages that are telling us to buy and indulge

It's terribly difficult to get away from these blaring images and the constant sound that our culture is saturated in, and the messages that are being pushed by the media (not all media mind you) are shouting loud and clear into every information-receiving orifice we've got, "More. Now."

In the midst of this, I find that I become distracted, disoriented and tired. I'm an introvert and that fact becomes painfully obvious when I've been surrounded by noise and images and people for any extended period of time. If I'm going to survive I need to take a day off from everything.

The purpose behind this is simple. Slow down. Take some time to be quiet. Toss the messages that are preaching indulgence. Listen for God in the quiet.

Today, all I did was hang out in one of the prayer rooms in the res (most of the time they're make-out rooms, but having some dude hanging out in there kinda kills the mood for any potential maker-outers) with my bible, my note book, my guitar, a book and my jammie pants. It was wonderfully refreshing and I really feel like I connected with God today.

Depending on the amount of time and stress between my techless days, (or more accurately my quiet days since I usually hide from humanity for the day) I'm usually okay after just one 24 hour period. This time I ended a little earlier than I planned, so I'm going to take a little more time tomorrow afternoon.

If you've never done this before, I'd encourage you to try it once. Just go one day without your cell, computer, ipod, CD's, tv, movies or what have you. Even if you're not the prayin' type, just read a book. Play an instrument. Go for a hike. Write a story. Go have an adventure. It'll be good for you, trust me.

SHE'S HERE!!!!!

2010-03-10T16:16:00.000-08:00

Omigosh!!! She's at the store!!! They finally shipped her!!! She's in the city!!! NORA'S HERE!!!

Back by popular demand...

2010-02-11T23:50:00.000-08:00

It's nuts what trying to balance real life will do to your online endeavors. Remember that time I said I'd write a follow up to my last blog post? Forget it, I already did it last year. Go read that.

This year has been insane thus far; but some kind of confusing and glorious insane that has plastered a smile on my face. It's no secret that I have recently been graced with the affection of an absolutely wonderful girl who's fault it is that I haven't been able to be quite as self-indulgent as a blog requires me to be. I've also seen my friend base widen this year and you know how it is, I've just gotta keep everyone happy, (there's only so much Josh to go around). Add to that the maddening pace that I've been working at to keep up with school, the amount that I have to practice guitar now that I'm a music minor, and the quest for a job I've been on since the beginning of the semester and suddenly writing to no one in particular doesn't pop up in the top ten priorities bin. Right now I'm lucky if it makes the top fifty, right above "Handle shattered glass with bare elbows." I'm not complaining though. It's been a blast and I can't wait to see what the rest of the year has in store!

Since I'm in the midst of a bit of a breather right now (the sweetest phrase in any language is "reading break") I figured I'd toss a little post out there. To be quite honest, there's not a lot to write about. The life of a student is awesome to live, it just doesn't make for a gripping read.

I'll let you know if anything of interest happens. Unless I post, please assume that it's business as usual.

The decade in retrospect

2009-12-31T11:35:00.000-08:00

The 70's had disco and hippies. The 80's had punk rock and acid styles. The 90's were the Golden Age of the boy band, Tamagotchi, Saturday morning cartoons, Pokemon cards, bad hair, Desert Storm and the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal. I was a little to young at the time to care much about what my first decade would be remembered for and it turns out that pop culture usually takes to front seat in mine and others memories. Too bad for the 90's.

So what about this decade? What are the things that the 2000's are going to be remembered for? The music? The movies? The toys? Here's a quick list of the things that stand out to me.

1) 9/11/2001- Much like the people who were around when JFK was assassinated, I remember vividly where I was when the World Trade Center was attacked. I remember my sister waking me up and coming out to the living room and seeing my mom very upset. I even witnessed the second plane fly into the south tower. It changed travel for the rest of us and was the catalyst for many things that came after. It also showed the good that people are capable of in a crisis with examples being charitable foundations, the volunteers that when to help in the rescue and clearing efforts, the blood donated, and all sorts of other things. It was humanity at both our ugliest and best.

2) The War on Terror- This was primarily an American endeavor in my opinion, but due to the nature of the US, it became the worlds problem as well. I'm not going to get into the details of why and how and what came of it, I just think that it's something that's going to stick to the 2000's. Here's hoping that it stays back there...

3) iPods- Considering the gravity of the previous items, this seems a little trite. But think about it, these little things were a technological wonder and a fashion statement that has persevered throughout the decade and paved the way for Apples lifestyle feel. They sucked us in, and it started in earnest with the iPod. (Note: this is my opinion having not done a lot of research, don't quote me on this.)

4) Youtube- I don't even remember what I did with my downtime before Youtube.

5) Facebook- I know that Myspace came first, but Facebook took over and is now my primary means of keeping in touch with people. However, I'm a firm believer that every empire must fall, so I don't see Facebook lasting forever. They've had a good run so far, here's hoping they stay on top if for no other reason than I don't want to have to move all of my information to another site.

6) The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy- The Lord of the Rings has been a popular fantasy series for decades, but the movies brought its popularity up to a craze that dominated both the box office and Halloween costumes for the three years the movies were released. They may have also produced a new George Lucas in Peter Jackson, that is to say, a director that makes a good trilogy and then goes on to nuke the fridge for the rest of his career. For proof please see (or don't see) King Kong.

7) The Global Recession- It's a phenomenon that's hit many families and countries hard, and a crisis that we're going to be digging ourselves out of for a very long time. As far as I'm concerned, it all comes back to greed and the idea that success is nothing short of more. However, I've covered that in a previous post.

8) Emo- Dashboard Confessional and Death Cab For Cutie are just two of the pretentious band names that come to mind when I think of this sub-culture. It was basically (Oh! I think I can feel a non-quotable opinion coming on!) an excuse for suburban kids with no real problems (such as starvation, poverty, terminal illness, etc.) to whine about how no one really understood them. Thankfully it's mainstream popularity has caved, however, it cleared the way for perhaps the greatest enemy of good that the world has yet encountered, which just happens to be number nine on the list...

9) Twilight- Sorry females of the world. Your efforts to become equal members of society over the last century have been undermined by four, teen-fiction novels. According to what I understand about the books (having never read them myself) and what I gleaned from the first movie (worst night of my life...) a girl cannot be happy without a strong man in her life to take care of her. It's also spawned the vampire craze of 2008-2009 in which everything that's targeted at teens seems to tie into vampires somehow. I'm going to stick with Team Ninja.

10) Reality TV- First, I would like to acknowledge that Reality TV is not unique to the 2000's, however I saw it explode with the popularity of shows like Survivor (it was only cool once...) Back then, it was basically a glorified game show that chronicled the emotional turmoil and relational strife that comes when you put a bunch of average people into a ridiculous situation and attach a prize to the end. After that, it was all downhill to The Hills (that was bad, sorry.) Honestly, I don't get it. With shows like My Super Sweet 16 and Jersey Shore, I have a hard time believing in the good that humanity is capable of.

11) The Indonesian Tsunami and Hurricane Katrina- Other decades had big natural disasters that served as cautionary tales for future generations, these were ours. Once again, they were also an opportunity for people to shine in the face of tragedy. They also show just how low people will stoop.

I could probably go on, but this is getting a little too large. Suffice it to say, I think the 2000's were not as bad as they could have been, however, they weren't great either. This decade brought to our attention the nature and severity of the environmental problem. The rich people kept getting richer. Poverty still exists. Extreme nationalism is still alive and well. The dawn of Facebook and Youtube gave us a globalized way of showing just how egocentric our society is. Teens have become less capable of growing up. Morality is still on the back burner. In essence, as a society, we're not following the greatest commandment (This is a blanket statement to which I'm happy that there are many, many exceptions.) The 2000's are probably going to be remembered for pop culture, stuff on the internet and all of the things that went wrong with the world.

This sounds pretty depressing, but I'm not saying any of it frowning. Yeah we haven't arrived, but we can. I think that the next decade has a lot of promise, which I'll go over some time next week.

It's like...

2009-12-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

Oh wow, I'd completely forgotten what a real bed in a real house felt like. Soooooooo good. Home pretty much makes res look like a prison. Granted it's a prison where all of my friends hang out and there's a TV and wireless internet and we don't have to wear uniforms and can come and go as we please... Okay so res is nothing like prison. I just really love sleeping on a queen size mattress. It's like floating on a cloud made of springs, awesome and whatever-the-heck this mattress is stuffed with, and I can't possibly fall off. I have the freedom to sprawl as God intended!

On the list of things to do this weekend:

-Read
-Eat
-Sleep
-Play with Billy, Faith and Rob
-Hang out with Keilah
-Go Christmas shopping with Mom
-Help Dad in the garage and the more than likely go shopping with him
-Pick Erin up from the airport Sunday at 11:30
-Play with the dogs
-Make sure the chainsaw is in working order for Monday

Ahhh, it's good to be home!

P.S. It's just occurred to me that I haven't put any pictures of the house up on here. It's definitely worth seeing. Hopefully I'll get around to that in the near future.

Dippin' into the reserve tank

2009-12-14T15:17:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a week. Two band practices, a service to play at, three assignments to work on, people stuff and a massive cold snap equal a very tiring week. That's not to say that I'm unhappy about the week. Other than the cold snap it was a fantastic week, even if I did (and do) have a pile of work to do. The only thing is I've pretty much pumped my emotional and mental energy dry. I could probably do labour work right now and it would feel like a break, but trying to write an essay is turning out to be a bit of a challenge. I just don't have the energy to care right now, and that's kinda hurting my work ethic.

I'm getting it done, it's just moving at a crawl right now. Writing this could be considered procrastination. I prefer to call it a "sanity break."

Anyhow, I guess I should probably summarize what I'm working on if I'm going to make this worth while to read.

First, I'm working on a response to a book called The Holiness Manifesto. In essence, the book is the result of a large multi-denominational cooperation that wants to find out why the church in North America is in decline. The basic consensus is that church's for the past century have been focused on being a dominant force in culture, that has failed, and now we're scrambling to program our churches back to health. The solution they present is to get back to the roots of the holiness movement which was to respond to the current culture by being holy in the culture. Holiness is not simply something that happens in your head and heart, it has to flow out in your interactions with the world.

Second, I'm working on a response plan for a current issue that a student could face. I've chosen abuse. It's a pretty heavy subject, so it hasn't been easy. There are a lot of legal implications to take into consideration and a lot of issues to deal with once the abuse has been stopped. That one's not going so well.

Third, I'm working on a summary of my God and Evil class. That one is what I'm saving for last. 1000 to 2000 words on what I learned over the course of a semester. Not a big deal. Actually, to be honest, I didn't learn much until the end of the course when it all started to come together. I'm a practical theologian so I don't find much value in theodicy, which was most of the course. By the end, I basically landed on the idea that humanity brought evil into the world, God is working for our redemption, and he gives us the strength to respond positively to the evil we encounter in the world. Also, don't try and make a bad situation good while grief is present, that almost always makes things worse for the person mourning. It's better to mourn with someone and acknowledge their pain and help them wrestle through the pain and then later figure out how to respond well.

So that's what's been going on lately with school stuff. I'm not entirely convinced that anyone will find this helpful, but at least I'm ready to work for a little while again.

Here's lookin' at you, kid...

2009-12-08T22:03:00.000-08:00

I'm a fiend when it comes to guitars. Over the last five years I've been slowly building up a collection that I'm quite proud of, but I'm still not satisfied with what I have. It's the curse that every guitarist is afflicted with. "I like what I have, but there's something missing when I try to (insert obscure musical maneuver that sounds just fine on what you have.)" It's a problem.

Recently, I've fallen for a beautiful little number simply called the Taylor 612ce, and my goodness does she sing pretty! I've decided, after much internal deliberation and a couple of conversations with other people, I'm going to sell my current acoustic and buy the Taylor.

To be honest, this has been a really hard decision to make. The Euphoria was the first acoustic that I bought by myself. I was nineteen, in my second year of college and looking for something that fit my developing style (such as it was...) When I saw it, I wasn't entirely convinced that I should buy it, I mean after all, look at it! That thing has more stage presence than a guy juggling flaming swords!... on a unicycle... surrounded by lions... and lasers... in a volcano... okay I'm done. It wasn't until I played it that I fell in love with it. The body is made completely of maple and has a slim build with a large face. Basically that translates to a sparkly, high-end (treble) tone with a lot of control over dynamics (loud and soft). The volume on it tops out pretty fast because of the wood, but that's never really bothered me. Playing this guitar has defined my style and sound and it's incredibly hard to have to sell it.

So why sell it? Well, to be honest, because I've grown out of it. I've loved the way it sounds for years, and I've been looking for something that is comparable to it without all of the flash. It's pretty to be sure; but it's not me anymore. The Taylor on the other hand, combines all of the things I love about my Euphoria, along with some upgrades to the electronics, and it has a simple yet elegant look that has a more broad appeal.

I sincerely wish I could get away with buying the Taylor without having to sell Jade, (Yeah yeah I named her, why do you think this is so hard!?!) but the reality is that I don't need two acoustics that do basically the same thing, and it's giving me a chance to help someone else out by giving her a decent second guitar.

On a lighter note (no pun intended), I need some ideas on what to name the new guitar when I get her. Any suggestions? Be kind, she's pretty. Oh, and Taylor's out.

The Christmas list

2009-12-07T16:58:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm looking at about three weeks of free time (I don't have any finals this semester, I heart the ministry program!) and instead of spending it how I normally do, I've decided that I'm going to do a little reading over the holiday.

Here's the list I've decided on:

-The Chronicles of Narnia (C.S. Lewis)
-Sustainable Youth Ministry (Mark DeVries)
-Faith and the Fatherland (Kyle Jantzen) I know it's not exactly Christmas-y to read about the Church in Nazi Germany, but I spent $27.00 on it, so I'm darn well gonna read it!
-The Great Emergence (Phyllis Tickle)
-Unfinished Tales (J.R.R. and Christopher Tolkien)

That should probably fill up a little more than three weeks. I'm looking forward to this holiday!

God and Evil and Teens

2009-11-24T15:03:00.000-08:00

I'm in the midst of writing a paper and I'm starting to flounder. The question I pose is "How do we help a teen who is struggling with the existence of an all-powerful benevolent God and the existence of pain and evil in the world?"

It's an old, old question and I don't really know if there is an answer to it that will satisfy everyone across the board, especially those living in the midst of some sort of evil, (evil being defined as anything that is profoundly unpleasant including but not limited to natural disasters, divorce, illness, bullying, etc.)

So now I'm reading all sorts of things on suffering and God and really not finding it all that helpful. I know what I believe on the subject and it works for me. However, not every student is going to fully understand my explanation. It comes down to faith and experience and the ability to rationalize on those terms, (Quick side note, rationalization is an abstract concept, something that a teens brain is physically developing and they are just starting to try out. For an easy synopsis on this, take a flip through the second chapter of Youth Ministry 3.0.) I'm looking for a good way of articulating to teens where evil comes from and how we can respond to it. Actually, that's not right. I'm looking for a good way to get students thinking about the problem of God and evil, and gently guide them to a conclusion that they find satisfying. Unfortunately, if you're going to say that in a university level paper, somebody else better have said it first.

My first proper book review.

2009-11-10T10:36:00.000-08:00

So I just finished writing a book review for my God and evil class, and I thought to myself, "Self, I really liked that book, you should write a blog about it so that others may share in the joy of this discovery." (My therapist says that a split personality is okay so long as each voice is aware of the other.)

Hope in Troubled Times, is written by Bob Goudzwarard, Mark Vander Vennen, and David Van Heemst. I'd never heard of these people before I read this book, so I wasn't really too sure of what to expect when I chose this one off of the list of recommended texts. I've thrown their names on a list now. Yeah, the book was that good.

Hope in Troubled Times can pretty much be summed up like this: Humanity is responsible for the current state of the world, God has offered a solution to the problems, and it is humanities responsibility to put that solution into action.

The book focuses on three major global evils that are spiraling out of control despite our "best" (You'll see what I mean at the end) efforts to stop them. The evils the book deals with are:

-Environmental degradation
-Worldwide poverty
-Widespread terrorism

Bob, Mark and Dave claim that all of these issues perpetuate each other, and can be traced back to one cause: the glorification of ideologies. They claim that in the rich northern world, (or the western world, if that's how you define our culture) ideologies have become the new gods that we bow to. They are the ends for which all means of achieving are justified, and if they go unchecked, they will eventually implode.

They go on to identify and illustrate the ideologies that are driving these three global evils. First, they focus on the ideology of materialism, the belief that progress and success are measured by wealth and a growing market. They also show how in order to achieve our material ends; rich nations abandon their morals, sacrifice peoples dignity and lives, our environment and our own health.

Second, they focus on the ideology of identity, which is basically the idea that a group must survive at all costs. This ideology is manifested in extreme nationalism, religions, racial discrimination, and group affiliations. This ideology has lead to acts of terror, bigotry, genocide and all manners of exclusion. It also ties into materialism, the belief that this way of life must be maintained at all costs, and the next ideology, guaranteed security.

This ideology at its core is the fight for guaranteed living space. The authors are quick to point out that the defense of a nation is a noble and right cause, as at its core it should be the defense of the freedom of the people who dwell in that nation. However, as with all ideologies that are allowed to progress to their natural ends, this one evolves into a fight over space, and the ability to protect and expand that space. The perversion comes when the means, the land where you are free to be free, becomes the end.

All three of these ideologies are intertwined, each one perpetuating the others to the point where they seem unstoppable. Materialism perpetuates poverty, environmental degradation, identity and guaranteed security. Identity perpetuates terrorism and the ideologies of guaranteed security and materialism. Guaranteed security perpetuates identity and materialism. Because of the nature of these ideologies, if nothing is done, they will eventually implode.

The book claims that our attempts to eliminate these evils have always tried to allow for our ideologies to survive, and thus, our efforts have been ineffective at best, and futile at worst. However, the authors do offer hope in the end.

They believe that God has already offered the solution to our global problems. All we have to do is forsake our ideologies of materialism, identity and guaranteed security. They believe that God has already set the example for this way of living when Jesus submitted himself to death, even death on a cross. Jesus died in poverty, never believing that material gain was a measure for success. He forsook his divine identity, (I'm a little shaky on this one simply because of the wording. I might flesh it out better in the future, but for now, just take it with a grain of salt) and any personal security by submitting to torture and death. Because he chose to give up those ideologies, they had no power over him. He rejected our false gods and was glorified for it.

In the same way, if we forsake the ideologies of materialism, identity and guaranteed security, we can break the cycle we are in now. Things will turn around. This is the example and the charge that God has set before us.

The authors don't expect this to take place on a global scale simply because they wrote a nice book telling the nations to do so, but they do encourage the reader to take a personal stand to say no to the false gods. By taking a personal stand, we set an example for the people around us and break the cycles we are in on a micro level, and because of the results, we spread our influence to those around us, and the movement begins to grow. It is a right way of living to put others before yourself, and in the end, that's all the book is trying to get across.

There are also traces of the discussion on the source of evil and the question of "Why does God allow evil to exist." Unfortunately the book assumes that you understand and subscribe to the idea that evil exists because of free will, and doesn't go too much farther into it.

I loved this book, and I wish I could have spent some more time in it. It's not an easy read, (Unless you enjoy many brief history lessons and horrifying statistics on poverty and military spending.) but it's definitely worth looking into.

New guy syndrome

2009-11-08T15:03:00.000-08:00

I had an unsettling experience today, and it knocked me off of a pedestal I wasn't even aware I was on.

Having just come off of internship, I've been feeling pretty good about myself lately. I've been excited about what I learned while I was in Abbotsford and to see how much I've grown in my skills as a teacher. I guess I went to the point of being proud of my abilities, and that's where I made my mistake.

On Thursday, I was asked to teach a class of students for a friend of mine. He had to leave town for the weekend and needed someone to take over. He works in a small church, so it's hard for him to find a replacement in the congregation.

For most of the weekend I worked on the lesson, which was just a continuation of the series he had been working through with them, so I figured this would be a piece of cake. I put effort into it, I asked all the right questions, I had a plan in place and I went in this morning ready to teach those kids a lesson!

Then I floundered for half an hour. I tried to stick to my lesson, I really did, I just couldn't get them to focus for more than four minutes. After a while I started to get frustrated, and I think it started to show, which just set them off more. (Did I mention that they were 9-13 years old?) Mercifully, the service ended and they took off.

Looking back, I forgot one of the most important things I learned in Abbotsford -- I'm the new guy. I've been so used to working with students who I know that I forgot to go into today patiently. I even thought that I could go in there and show the guy I was covering for, a first year Youth Min student, how it's done. My ego seeped into something that's supposed to lead people to God, and I forgot some of the most fundamental lessons I've ever learned.

I don't think I'll make this mistake again. It hurts, but it's a good lesson to learn. Maybe you can learn from it too.

The times they are a-changin' (With apologies for the length)

2009-11-01T13:41:00.000-08:00

Leave it to Bob to sum up the political, social and religious unrest of a generation into a folksy little song title. Even though it was first recorded in 1963, it still holds true today in many respects. It's basically the anthem that the worlds of families and teens have been marching to for the past fifty years, give or take a decade. That's probably why Walt Mueller decided to name the second chapter of his book Youth Culture 101 after that song.

I know it's a little weird to blog about one chapter of a book, so here's my rationale. I've been asked to present this chapter to my youth min class on Wednesday, and it got me thinking quite a bit. I'm sure the rest of the book will get me thinking too, just as soon as I can get around to reading it.

Okay, back to the topic at hand.

The chapter starts out with a letter he received from an average teen girl about her family situation, performance in school, the pressures she feels, and the eating disorders she struggles with. Even though I've heard the same story many times over from different people, it never ceases to amaze me that teens feel the kind of pressure they do, and how aware they are of how real or perceived those pressures are. It's even more shocking for me to see how unprepared they are to deal with the pressures asserted onto them.

The thesis statement of the chapter is basically this: Teens are less prepared than ever before to become independent, healthy, functioning adults, and in order to know why, we as the adults in their lives need to understand what it is that's shaping them.

Obviously, the top shaping factor in any teens life is going to be the family, and that as it turns out, is partially why teens are having such a hard time wading into adulthood. The word family used to mean the nuclear model you'd see in a Norman Rockwell painting, Mom, Dad, kids. Now the word family has had to change to define single parent homes, divorce, remarriage, common-law parents, adoptive families, unwed single moms, single dads, and same sex parent homes. The nuclear family is no longer a stable institution.

Stability is something that teens crave, even if they won't admit it. Just take a look at the social structure of high school. What do you normally see? Kids segregate themselves into the groups they feel that they can identify with. They find not only acceptance in a clique, but a norm they can depend on. (That ones free by the way, you're welcome Mr. Mueller.) The instability they feel in a family or the perceptions they adopt from what they see of the marriages around them shape the decisions they will make now and into adulthood.

The next shaping factor in a teens life is the voices they hear outside of the family.

Peer pressure has been around for a long long time. Even my parents remember experiencing it (Ba-zing). However, Mueller would like to point out that in the past peer pressure has been verbally expressed over issues that are for the most part considered black and white decisions, where as now it is experienced subtly around issues that are a considered normal by most teens and even some adults.

I agree with him based on my experience. For a long time it was the quiet assertion that one needs to be in a relationship in order to live a fulfilling life. For seasons things like drug use and casual sex have been mentioned in passing, and the overwhelming feeling is that if you don't subscribe to a passive stance on these potentially life changing issues, you are either a bully or ignorant. It's getting more difficult to identify and say no to peer pressure.

Then there is the ever growing face of the media. Here's a little culture for you. When I go camping, I always bring a cell phone so that I'm prepared in the event of an emergency. I think that's a pretty good idea, but what does my cell phone bring with it? Answer: twitter updates. I get several updates from my phone over the course of the day telling me what my friends are doing. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of camping? I've gone out into the middle of the forest, and I've brought the rest of the world with me.

Media has almost unlimited access to teens right now, and they're talking to them through their TV's, computers, magazines, art, movies, video games and phones. How many messages do you think are being pumped into them over the course of a day? That's some serious bombardment and it's not slowing down. Media is getting smaller, faster and steadily more available, and with this rapid expansion of information sharing comes a new breed of North American teen, the globalized teen.

Now, just so that we're on the same page here, I don't see globalization as something negative. It takes us out of the context that what we do only affects us, and makes us think about the big picture. Our knowledge has expanded and we've been given experiences that have never before even been available. Globalization has diversified us and broken down the segregation that we've had in generations past. Because of this, people in general have been exposed to new ways of thinking, value systems, politics, family structures and religions, and we've learned to live next door to each other.

Rapid globalization has also, among other things, lead to the new paradigm that teens live in, postmodernism. This is nothing new to anyone who's been working in youth ministry for the past ten years or so. Here's a quick laundry list of the values held by people in a postmodern paradigm as sited on page 52.

The Enlightenment project [modernism] is a bust - there is no such thing as progress.
Life has no meaning - it's just a game.
You are the only one who cares about you.
No story is universally true.
There is no such thing as truth except what you create for yourself.
Every claim to truth is a power play.
Therefore everything must be mistrusted (or deconstructed).
There is no order - all is random.
You only go around once in life, so do it with gusto.
[It should be noted that this list was credited in Youth Culture 101 to page 23 of this book.]

Naturally, this value system shapes how teens are going to operate. We can see it in their sexual activity, materialism (try telling me that Apple doesn't have teens and young adults in a choke hold. They know how we think, so they pump out what we want), high risk behaviour (you only get one shot, make it awesome), violence, and substance abuse. They're making up the rules for their lives as they experience things, and will not impose on the way someone else chooses to live their life.

So to recap, here's what's shaping teens:

The changing face of the Family.
The influences that speak directly into they're lives (Peers, Media, parents, teachers, etc.)
Globalization
The postmodern paradigm

Unless we understand the shaping forces in the lives of teens, we cannot hope to reach them where they are. If we don't understand how they have defined their family, what voices are speaking to them, what cultures they've grown around, and what rules they operate with, we can't hope to speak to them in a language they will understand.

Mueller's encouragement is that we as the adults in kids lives would work to identify with their world. We may not always agree with them, and we certainly shouldn't always agree with them, but we can at least strive to understand why on earth they do what they do. God honours the work, and who knows, we might even be able to speak a little wisdom into their lives.

Wiped

2009-10-25T20:15:00.001-07:00

I just got back from a weekend in Abbotsford, and man was it good. I love going there. It's like plugging my soul into a charging device. I love seeing the kids, I love what they've done with the church, and I love hanging out with Mike, Erin and the kids.

Anyhow, on with the details.

Friday:

Class sucks due to the fact that it's at 8:15, meaning that I have to get up far earlier than I want to. After that, my RA took me to the airport, and then my flight was delayed for a little while. That turned out to be a good thing, as I was barely at the airport in time to board. Guess who's fault that was... I need to get a watch.

After about twenty minutes of waiting, I got on the plane and the flight and the flight continued without a hitch... until we landed. We were told to stay seated with our seat belts on. Three minutes later, I see that Mike has tweeted that there are cops in the airport. Four minutes after that, three or four (it all happened so fast) massive policemen walk onto the plan and arrest two people on the plane. I thought for sure they'd finally caught up with me...

After that it was a pretty typical night. We went back to Mike and Erins place, ate a little pizza, caught up a little on how we're all doing, went to a massive concert organized by one of the (former) youth kids. Typical Friday type stuff. I was on security for the night. There were five bands playing, all of them local and in high school, and I was really surprised at the quality of music they were pumping out. Granted, hardcore isn't really my scene, but the kids enjoyed it, and it was successful, so I was really happy for Levi (the guy who organized the whole thing).

Saturday:

Soccer, Halo, killer bunnies.

Sunday:

Church rocks in Abbotsford. Move there.

Currently:

I'm wiped. Abbotsford is a fantastic recharge for my soul, but it takes its toll on the rest of me. Fun is tiring. Thanks for everything guys!

How'd you sleep?

2009-09-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

The coffee monster got me last night... Stupid social drinking. Never again after eight o'clock at night. I was up until seven in the morning. It's a very good thing that I didn't have a class until eleven today, and it's a good thing it was only a guitar class. Now I'm suffering for it.

The biggest problem with being up all night is that your mind starts to race with all of the things that you're too busy during the day to think about. Most of the time, it's stupid things, like situations during the day you could have handled better, (I angst over stuff like that at night) problems that don't seem like that big of a deal in the day light, what people think of you, stuff you have to do the next day, things like that.

For me last night, among other things, I was upset about an episode that happened after a campus wide worship night. When we got back to the res, I said something off colour, and one of the freshmen very gently called me on it. That upset me quite a bit. I'm not upset with him for doing it, I'm upset that he had to do it at all. I had prayed inside the service with a few other guys, including that particular freshman, that our lives would reflect what we were singing and saying, and three hours later I decided to go to the lowest kind of joke for a cheap laugh. Catch the inconsistency there? It doesn't mean that I wasn't sincere when we were in the service, it means that I need to get better at checking what I say. If it's not edifying, it's not worth saying.

So what keeps you up at night?

Must... break... boredom...

2009-09-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

Residence is a fantastic concept. Basically, you take a large chunk of humanity who are at roughly the same stage in life, and you plunk them all into a building together, then watch the magic happen. Friends are incredibly easy to make here. However, the space provided to us is really only good for gaming, and thus, boredom is a common affliction. That being said, I've taken it upon myself to propose some dormitory boredom busters.

Group projects: Nothing brings a group of guys together more than a common goal. I'm not talking school projects, I'm talking about monuments. I'm convinced that a group of guys building a 1:100 scale replica of the Eiffel Tower, (roughly 3.24 meters high) would not only be impressive, but would definitely build unity. As an added bonus, it would eat up about four weeks of free time. It's also an attractive piece to bring to school sporting events.

Gaming: I know I dissed it in my preamble, but that's only because it's all we've done in the last two weeks. In moderation, games, board or video, are a natural place for creative dialog, "Get back here you little *%$!, I'ma pwn you in the face!" It's also a natural place to cultivate inside jokes. The down side? The competitive guys are always going to be revealed as jerks, and everyone will team up on that guy just to laugh as he gets mad.

Home work: SHOCK AND HORROR! How dare you suggest work as an alternative to boredom!!! Well, it works. When your brain is engaged, time flies.

Casual outdoor games: Things like tossing a football around, tossing a frisbee, a baseball, bocce balls, lawn darts, and shurikens are a fun way to pass the time.

Aside from these things, there's always talking, going out, playing music, having random dance parties in the cafeteria, (it happened...) and whatever else you can come up with. You're only bored because you choose to be, so stop complaining and do something.

BTS

2009-09-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

BTS sounds like a serious medical condition, but as anyone who works at Staples knows, it's only life threatening if you don't pay attention, stay up all night, and believe that "Slurpee" is a food group. I'm talking of course, about going (B)ack (T)o (S)chool.

I've been back at Ambrose since Monday, and I have to say, I'm impressed. The new campus is really worth the wait. It's on an absolutely beautiful plot of land out in the south west side of Calgary with a view of the mountains and access to a pretty flippin' awesome shopping center. Even the res, the one thing that I was truly unsure about, is great! The reason I wasn't so sure about living in res again is because the living situation is way different from what I was used to down town. Before we were living in a regular apartment building which meant that we had a kitchen and living room, and a full bathroom. Now the rooms are basically a bedroom with a sink and a shared bathroom between two rooms. The biggest problem I have with this is that now I can't cook my own meals, and that's something that I love to do, although being a student, it's not like I could afford anything good anyway. However, there is good news there. If I so feel the need, I can use the communal kitchen down stairs to relieve any pent up need to cook. Over all, it's not a bad setup. It's not ideal, but it works, and gives me a chance to get to know a lot of people without the bother of commuting.

There are a couple of things that I'm going to miss about living down town. For one, I loved the feel of it. When you live in the middle of a city, it allows you to see the need and stay grounded in what your at bible college for in the first place. Here it sort of feels like we're living in the middle of a monastery where the ugliness and hurt you see downtown doesn't exist.

Second, I'm going to miss the transit system. Before, it was a two minute walk to the train, now it's a little more complicated. Call me lazy, but I loved the C-train.

Third, I'm going to miss the river. That has got to be one of the most beautiful walking paths I've ever seen.

Other than that, everything here is better than it's ever been! Even the cafeteria has good food! I need to check out the library pretty soon. I've got an assignment to finish off for next week, well, actually the 23rd, but I've already read the book, so I'm assuming it's going to be a breeze. Thanks Mike!

Thanks Justin

2009-08-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

I've discovered recently that recording can be a long and humiliating process. As a learning aid it's awesome. It's like having a band around that doesn't tell you that you suck at soloing the first thirty times you try. The only problem with recording is that you can hear every flaw in your playing. Once again, as a learning tool, this is fantastic, however, it quickly brings any fantasies of super stardom crashing into a reality that is so unforgiving, it won't let you forget about that quarter you took from the ashtray in the car.

Here's an example of what I mean. (Please bear in mind, I'm not a studio tech, so that high end hiss you're hearing is not your computers fault.)

It's decent, but I can hear each and every flaw in there, and the tone's not right, and the voicing could be better, and some of the timing is off, and the phrasing is predicatble, and yadda yadda yadda. It's not that I think I suck, I'm just hearing that I've got a lot of work to do if I'm going to be happy with my playing.

Embarrassing as it can be, I'm having a blast! I've learned a lot just playing along with loops that I've recorded, and it's great to throw a song from iTunes into GarageBand and play along like I'm in the band!

With some work, this stuff pays off. If you're learning to play and you don't have access to incredibly patient friends willing to play the same progression over and over and over and over and over and over as you tool around to see what sounds good, do yourself a favor and get a loop pedal. I would show you the other 137 takes of that solo as proof of improvement, but I'd rather spare your life.

Thanks for the boost Justin!

Woopsie.

2009-08-02T16:24:00.000-07:00

Time sure does fly when you're having fun, and my fun has consisted mostly of watching M*A*S*H in the evenings instead of doing the things that really matter, like playing guitar and writing notes to no one, (That's this).

So I suppose I lied about doing reviews this summer. It's not that I've been too tired, or that it's too hot, or that I don't have the funds to get stuff done, I just haven't done it. What can I say, it's nice to chill and watch Hawkeye's crazy antics.

So to tide you avid rabid fans over, I'll just say what I've been up to.

Work. Lots of work. We're in the first stages of expanding the shop out here, and by the first stages, I mean we're gathering building materials. For two weeks I was repairing old trusses so that they can function again, and now I'm making concrete casts. I've also remounted a door on the garage that I had previously ripped off with the tractor. I'd feel worse about ripping the door off, but dad made it worse by running into it again and bending it, so my guilt is gone.

I've also had the great pleasure, (please note that this has been typed sarcastically) of doing some work in a foundry. For those of you playing along at home, that's a metal casting plant. Allow me to drop some knowledge on you as to how these places operate.

First, in order to cast steel, you must make the steel castable, (I made that word up) or molten. To do that, you need to make it hot. As you may well imagine, hot metal casts off quite a bit of heat in the building. If you need a point of reference, it's kinda like working in the crack of Mt. Doom, but with fewer orcs.

Second, you must cast the steel. To do that, (and this is legitimately interesting) they make these molds out of a special kind of sand. They pour the sand into wooden molds, and then solidify it with a special glue that allows it to keep its shape, then they pour the steal into the new sand molds. I was completely floored when I first saw it, and I really think it's cool. The only negative bi-product of casting everything in this sand is that it gets everywhere. There are masks provided, so I think I've avoided cancer, but you look like you robbed a coal mine at the end of the day.

The place itself is fascinating, it's just not all that pleasant to work in. The guys there are nice though, so there's that.

On Friday I'm flying out to Abbotsford for the Sasquatch hunt. I'm totally looking forward to it! I miss everyone out there!

And speaking of awkward endings, that's all I have to say right now.

Fatty says what?

2009-07-09T08:13:00.000-07:00

Real work can be a pain in the... umm... everything on your body. I hurt from head to toe, and I have no one to blame but myself. Yes, even men as awesome as I can loose vitality after eleven months behind a desk with absolutely no exercise program to speak of other than moving couches once a week. Even that didn't help much after we put wheels on them.

So now I'm scrapping steel, and darned if it isn't a whole lot harder than it was last summer. Thankfully it's pouring buckets out here right now, so I can't do anything outside. Hopefully I'll be better by the end of the summer.

Now, I had mentioned before that I'll be moving to a review format over the summer. That should be starting next week. I'll be doing this more for my benefit than anything. For some reason writing down how something works helps me figure it out better. Hopefully someone else will find it useful too.

I've come into possession of a few pieces of recording equipment, (thanks Justin) and I have quite a few pedals that I need to explore in detail. While I'm figuring out the recording stuff, I'll go through the pedals I have.

In the mean time, I have a room to organize. It's been almost a week since I've been home and I still can't get my act together... Maybe it's those 8:00 to 6:00 days I've been working all week.

Don't you forget about me

2009-07-01T00:55:00.000-07:00

In the morning, I'm leaving Abbotsford for a while.

I had ice cream with a few of the guys tonight, and we said our final good-byes and exchanged manly hugs.

Now I'm sitting in a hotel room unable to sleep. I'm not sad to the point of weeping openly right now, because I know I'm not leaving here forever. I'm sad to the point of being restless. I don't like leaving because I'm going to miss everyone around here like crazy.

Right now it kinda feels like I'm leaving just when I'm making really good friends and getting the hang of the job.

The thing is, I know that if I stuck around, I'd be spinning my wheels. That's not to say that I don't have anything else to learn. I've got a lot to learn, but I've gone as far as I need to go out here. I've seen a ministry year, and I've soaked up almost everything that I could have. It's been a blast. Now it's time to move to the next chapter.

I'm going to miss the city. I'm going to miss working one block from a Tim Hortons. I'm going to miss the church staff. I'm going to miss the youth leaders. I'm going to miss the guys my age who let me hang out with them. I'm going to miss the adults who reached out to me and fed me with wise words and free coffee. I'm going to miss the students as they go through another year of youth. I'm going to miss the grads who are off to do new things. I'm going to miss the families who gave me much more than a place to eat and sleep. I'm going to miss Mike and Erin.

So why leave?

I'm a firm believer in the idea that life must never become static. My most frequent illustration of why you must move on is the dude who peaked in high school. The one who at age 24, still hung and smoked out in the parking lot after school wearing his football teams leather sleeved jacket. The one who continues to tell the same story again and again because he's honestly got nothing new. The guy who keeps on trying to recapture that glorious time when he was number one, but never can. I don't want to be that guy. He goes bald at 29, smells like a fish tank, and ends up working at the gas station where, incidentally, he picks up all of his literature... and he's still got that stupid jacket.

I want to move forward and grow.

This is going to go down as one of the most formative chapters in my life, and I'm so thankful to God and everyone this year for everything that you've done. I love you guys, and I hope I gave you something back. See you soon.

Simple Minds Don't You Forget About Me
Uploaded by Celtiemama. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

So, Wednesday.

2009-06-23T15:19:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was bittersweet. It was great to hear from some of the students that they enjoyed having me here this year, and it was great to be able to say good-bye. The downside to that is that I have to leave.

Thankfully, they gave me some stuff to remember them by. There were a few brief stories, a song, a dramatic conclusion to the kidnapping of the Batman I keep on my desk, a sweet tuning pedal with some fantastic features, and a new guitar strap that they all signed. Oh, and a few of them decided it would be a good idea to TP my office, and they did it right. It took me twenty minutes to tear that down.

Over all, it was a great night that not only involved some good music, (I got to lead the band for the last time, like I said, bittersweet) and awkward good-byes. There were also snow cones and ice cream sundaes!!!

To anyone reading this who was there, thank you. It was a very special night.

Oh, and here's what happened to my office,

Facing down D-day

2009-06-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

Ugh... That's pretty much the only way to clearly articulate how I feel about the last Wednesday night of the year coming fast. It's shaping up to be a decent night, (despite the very real possibility that I'll be showing up in cornrows). A couple of the guys want to do a pretty rockin' song with me before the night officially kicks off, and Mike informed me that the kids have been planning some pretty cool stuff up, and we're getting snow cones. SNOW CONES!!! Still, I'm a little bummed that it's the last one I'll be around for. I gave a massive talk on transition last week, and I think I did an okay job of it, it's just a little difficult to believe it when it means that you have to leave a place you've grown to love. I'll miss working with the staff of this church, I'll miss the students, I'll miss the leaders, and I'll really miss having an office, even if it is nothing more than a windowless closet with a psychedelic couch and a fake marijuana plant.

Thankfully, leaving doesn't mean that I'll be thrown directly into the merciless jaws of the real world, at least not just yet. I'll be going home to work for my dad, which although being far from a cushy gig, is in every way better than working at any restaurant chain that makes you wear a funny hat. (If you felt that last sentence insulted the dignity of your current employment situation, I'm sorry, but maybe you should have listened to your parents and gone to school for something other than a BA in philosophy.) After work, school starts up in September. It's going to be nice to get back into that rhythm. I'm really looking forward to being with everyone in Calgary again.

With the move, I'll also be changing up the purpose of this blog. I'm assuming that life after internship will be much like life is for 99.9% of the population, so there's really no point in preserving the memories online unless they happen to involve unicorns, space travel, cowboys and an end times battle for the souls of all humanity. Barring the occasional 'here's what's going on' type post, I'll be shifting to a review format for some of the stuff I happen to be reading, watching or using. More than likely it'll be about books and guitar gear. Who knows, maybe it'll get me some hits on Google.

You really must try this sometime

2009-06-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the youth band lead the service in what is affectionately referred to as "Big Church". Our service is a little bit different than other churches I've been to. We separate our service into two parts, traditional and contemporary. It's a delicate balance, but it's worked.

I was asked to lead the music portion of the service, so it fell to me to get both the traditional and contemporary portions of the service planned. I freaked a little bit at first when I found out I was leading both parts, mostly because I don't play piano or organ, and when I think traditional worship through hymns, I think piano and organ, and maybe a cello if you're lucky enough to have someone with talent and $10,000 to burn.

Anyhow, long story short, Mike and I talked about what it could look like, and we eventually settled on the idea of getting a big group of the students up on stage to lead the congregation as a choir. I think about twenty of them showed up to sing, and they did so good!!! I was nearly in tears while we were singing, (Nearly in tears, not in tears. There's a very manly difference.) I think that the congregation appreciated it too. They started clapping for the kids before they even opened their mouths!

Then there was the contemporary portion of the service, home base for our band. As I've mentioned in another post, there is a ridiculous amount of talent in this youth group, and all of it came out yesterday. The energy in the room was off the chart! And through it all, they remained on task.

All said and done, I think it was an incredible worship service. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I've never played with such great people, and it's going to take a miracle for me to find a group that's even close to this ever again. I guess that just means that I'm going to have to come back to visit.

Speaking of worship bands that rule, I ran across this yesterday and nearly died laughing. I'm not sure what the imagery has to do with worshiping God, but it's something I wouldn't mind trying out with our band here.

Feeling the power

2009-05-29T11:49:00.001-07:00

Don't look at me like that! You don't know me! So what!?! I'm procrastinating! There, I said it! You probably are too by being online, looking at the rantings of a no name student ministry intern, so there!

"Josh, stop yelling at me! And what are you procrastinating from?" (Is what you would be saying to your computer screen if you were crazy)

Well, since you asked, I suppose I could tell you. Mike has taken his hands off of the wheel for the month of June. And by that, I mean that he's promoted me to Student Ministries lead for three weeks. That means I'm taking the teaching, planning and communication. Right now I'm taking a break from lesson prep.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm feeling like I've been thrown into the path of a tornado and told, "Here, now tell it what to do." That's not to say I've been abandoned, and it's not something that I'm unprepared to do, but the same was true when I was learning to drive stick, and I remember that being pretty embarrassing.

The good news is, after stalling the car a few times, (Once just out side of the median on a highway with on coming traffic closing in fast) I'm now basically flawless driving a standard transmission car, (so far as not stalling goes). This past year has been a really really big test drive, and even though I'm a little overwhelmed, I think I'm ready to do this.

Ok, back to work.

Surrounded by greatness

2009-05-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been thrust into a situation that leaves you saying "Whoa, that... was... AWESOME!!!" That's what I got when I came out to Abbotsford.

My past experience playing in bands has been hit and miss. Sometimes it's enjoyable, sometimes I'd rather race a stampeding herd of moose over a narrow bridge that leads to a bingo hall. For the most part, I really couldn't care any less if I get to play with a band.

I don't feel like that anymore. When I got out here, I accidentally hit the jackpot. The students here have an unfair amount of musical talent. If you could mine it, you'd start drilling out here. And it's not just one or two of them either. It's all of them! I swear it makes me sick sometimes.

However, talent alone doesn't make a good band. It's the ability to work together toward a sound that is both pleasing and epic. They've got it. There is not one diva among these guys. I've never seen a group of students take direction better. I've said some of the most convoluted crap to these people in an attempt to articulate what I'm hearing in my head to them, and without fail, they deliver. They can get pretty creative with their parts as well. A couple of them have even stepped out and provided direction from time to time, and it's good!

Above all, you can really see the heart behind what they're doing. They're committed to doing something amazing in order to lead people into a place where they can encounter God. Not bad for high school students.

Whenever I get a chance to play with these guys, I invariably find myself stepping back after a song saying, "Whoa, that... was... AWESOME!!!"

Grad season

2009-05-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

I decided when I was in grade 11 that I was headed for vocational ministry. I knew shortly after that in the early months of grade 12 that I wanted nothing else than to be a Youth Pastor. I also vividly recall being in the third hour of my grad ceremony thinking, "I can't believe I'll be going to these for the rest of my life..." Thankfully, things change. I'm no longer the sucker sitting in a heavy, dorky, and previously used grad gown, in full view of the entire assembly, where incidentally, the urge to pick your nose grows exponentially. I'm the guy in the back with a book to read during the frilly pageantry, who actually remembered a water bottle and can pick to his hearts content. However, that doesn't change the fact that the modern graduation ceremony is full of more hot air than an aviators balloon.

Please don't read me wrong here, I'm quite proud of you guys who are graduating. Despite your teachers best efforts to thwart you with math problems and "objective" marks in English, you've passed your classes and are now moving on to post secondary education or the work force. You deserve to have your name called as you walk across a stage, just tell your principal to shut his/her trap and get on with the ceremony. Tell the people handing out the awards that we don't care what the requirements were, just fork over the cash. And if I hear another cradle to grad recall by an educator, I'll be forced to light his hair on fire, (Contrary to what you may be thinking, it leaves only little to some permanent damage).

I've committed to going to grad ceremonies for the duration of my career as a Youth Pastor, and I can only hope that somewhere along the way, I'll be able to steer at least one school in the right direction. Keep it under and hour, no one cares what anyone aside from the students has to say.

Dear my beard...

2009-05-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

Hey lil' buddy, how's it going? Still scruffy and un-kept I see. You always were good for that.

Hey, umm. listen... Beard? I've got to tell you something, and it's really hard to say... I don't think that we can be together anymore. I know, it hurts me to say it, but I have to say it now before it's too late.

You see, there's this group of people who have donated $70.00 to a little boy named Daven in the Philippines* on the condition that they be able to shave you into whatever shape they want. If I'd known that they would almost make it to $70.00 in one night, I never would have said yes to their offer.

Don't look at me that way! This hurts me just as much as it hurts you! I've grown attached to you over the past couple of months. We've had some good times, like the time that you kept my face warm when the wind was blowing. We've also had some not so good times, like the time that you held crumbs from my toast for three hours, or the time you got caught in the zipper on my coat.

Will I keep you no matter what shape they make you? I'm not gonna lie, it's not looking good. They're leaning towards making you look like Mike's goatee, and you know how I feel about that.

I wish it didn't have to end like this. It's not me, it's you...

Good bye, maybe we'll meet again some time.

*Daven is a boy that the students support through Compassion Canada.

What have I become!?!

2009-05-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

Is narcissism contagious? Because I think I have it. If it's not contagious, it's at least progressive.

Two years ago I joined facebook. I've found that it's a good way to keep in touch with people, with only a few ways to be self-indulgent, (i.e. notes, glam photo's for profile pictures, status updates, personality tests, etc.).

Two months ago, I started this blog with the understanding that I would only use it for good by chronicling my time in Abbotsford, like a photo album with absolutely no pictures. Okay, fine, it's an online diary! There! I said it!!! I still maintain that I need a way to keep track of the stuff that's been going on around here. This blog was only a small step into a dark and self-absorbed world.

On Wednesday, I joined Twitter... I'd do anything to take that back, but I've commited to it now. There is no going back.

For anyone who might stumble onto this and have no idea what Twitter is: The site asks, "What are you doing?" and you answer in a little box so that other people can know what you're doing at all times.

Suggested slogan- Twitter: You probably don't care, but I'm telling you anyway!™

April

2009-04-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

Twenty one days without an update. I was actually starting to respect myself again.

It's been a good month. Not an overly exciting month, but a good one.

This month we lost all of our college staff. That was one of the crappier parts of the month. Loosing them meant loosing a big part of the youth group. There were connections in that group that are not going to be replaced. I liked working with them. They were a fun group. Last week was our first shot at operating without them, and it was hard. Not just in a work load sense either, but it really felt like there was something missing with them gone. If any of you read this, (doubtful, but whatever) you're missed by all of us already. I hope you guys have a good summer!

I went home for Easter. I love flying, and I love home, so all around it was good. While there I was coerced into going to Chuck E Cheese's, (AKA, Vegas for minors. I was surprised I didn't see some kid outside the door, down on his luck, with a sign that said "Will do a wheely for tokens") with the kids. I will admit, playing Skee Ball for Faith was fun, but wow, talk about over stimulation. Sugar, games, cheap toys, a "live" show AND a dancing mouse handing out free tickets? Those kids don't stand a chance. Amidst all of this, there are tired, vacant eyed parents walking around. This is truly where happiness goes to die.

I was also lucky (unfortunate) enough to catch Keilah in the middle of an obsession with the Twilight series. Naturally, we watched the movie. To those of you who haven't watched it yet, consider yourself blessed. That was a hundred and twenty two minutes I'll never get back. Imagine for a second that you're watching someone drop a pool ball onto their teeth from six feet in the air, and you can hear the crack of their teeth as it makes contact. That face you're making right now? That was my face for two hours.

Mike took off for California to attend Catalyst last week. I'm still insanely jealous that I didn't get to go. In his absence, I got to run the student ministry for a week! It went well, the only hard parts were putting together the lesson and recovering when part of my band didn't show, (it really sucks when your drummer's grounded).

The best part of the night for me was that I got to be with the youth group on my birthday! I dare you to come up with a better party. I got to sing and play in an awesome band, play the Masking Tape Game of Death, (two teams with two different colours of masking tape on their foreheads are trying to steal tape from each other, good times). I made five kids eat lemons, I got a cake with a Batman scene on top, plus a ton of cupcakes, and I got to teach. I don't want to brag, but it was pretty much awesome. Thanks to everyone who made the night great!

A shameful ballad, By Swarley Swift

2009-04-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

I've done something recently that I'm not proud of. I dedicate the following tale to anyone who has found themselves forced to do something that goes against everything they believe. Video footage of the event is coming soon.

It all started two weeks ago during LYC. This youth group has a tradition on trips of playing a little ditty called Track 4, (mentioned in an earlier entry) and because Track 4 is unbearably mind numbing, I spared the occupants of my car the 'joyful experience'* of listening to an endless 4/4 drum beat. For not adhering to tradition, I was chastised. For my punishment, it was suggested that I be made to listen to Taylor Swift all the way back from Calgary. Mercifully, I was let off the hook for most of the trip home, but that didn't stop the vicious rumour that I actually enjoy that tripe from springing up to haunt me.

Not long after getting back to Abbotsford, a couple of the youth leaders thought it'd be a good idea to have a talent show. It was then suggested that I play a Taylor Swift song for the show. There was even a petition among the students to get me up there playing Taylor. Because I was born without a spine, I conceded.

I started looking around for one of her songs that I could get away with singing. Unfortunately, all of her songs are so unapologetically girly that if I were to sing one in full, it would sound like I'm waiting for some dude named Drew to stop breaking my heart and sweep me off my feet while I sit around damaging the finish on my guitar by crying all over it. The only solution was to compose a medley.

In short, that's what I did. I put actual work into it, and I sang it at the top of my lungs to the amusement of many, and the dismay of a few. I doubt most of the middle school guys will look me in the eye for the next three weeks. To all who were there, I will forever be immortalized as Swarley Swift.

*Arduous monotony

A brush with Stardom

2009-03-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

I was expecting to be home all day Saturday. I still haven't taken any time off since the Calgary trip. Because of that, I was planning on just chilling out and going to bed early. (Wow, when'd I get that old!?! Next thing you know I'll be wearing a florescent fanny pack and playing Bingo.) My plans were foiled when I got a call to see if I'd be willing to help out with a concert that was happening at the church. The Newsboys came out to our little Abbotsford to put on a show at Sevenoaks. Admittedly, I'm not a fan of the Newsboys. I don't feel like going into detail as to why I don't like them for fear of coming across as a snob, so suffice it to say, they're not my "Cup o' tea". (That joke's hilarious if you listened to their "Take me to your Leader" album.) I went in thinking I'd be hauling stage equipment around like a lowly grunt, "enjoying" the show from the side lines as I wheezed curses unto my lack of an exercise routine. Not so. I ran the center spotlight for the entire show!!! It's the most glamorous job I've ever had at anything like this! Ok, so yeah, I'm the guy behind the thing that highlights the person the people actually came to see, but whatever. If I wanted to, I had the power to make the lead singer slightly harder to see. They were at my mercy. The best part was that I got to wear a headset radio. It was fantastic! I am a simple man.

Yesterday the youth band, which incidentally is looking for a kick-awesome band name, played for the Explorers class, (Children’s church for grades 1-4). It was really fun. We went in with very little practice, a ten-minute sound check, and a list of songs that was too short. Guess who's fault that was... But they totally rocked it! That's the nice thing about working with students. They're willing to do anything. No one panicked (except for me) when we went into that place cold. That confidence totally pulled me together. They were even able to play one of the songs without sheet music! That NEVER happens!!! When our set was short, they threw out a suggestion, and powered through it, and I actually thought that that was the best one we played. It's so awesome playing with those guys!

Mountain Top Weekend

2009-03-25T12:40:00.000-07:00

This years LYC blew last years out of the water!

The speaker was fantastic, and not just because he had a lot of experience in world missions and such. He was a powerful communicator who challenged the kids and the leaders to become the hands and feet of Jesus in the world, which loosely translated means "Don't be content with preaching to people, get involved with their lives! Make a difference!" He encouraged us to get involved in humanitarian causes, and to not just tell people about Jesus, but to show them Jesus. (For more on incarnational living, read The God Bearing Life by Kendra Creasy Dean and Ron Foster.)

As for the rest of the stuff that went on, the kids were a hoot! The drive was good, long, but fun. The car was filled with the sound of Track 4, (the first thirty seconds of U2’s “Bullet the Blue Sky” over and over again) and Taylor Swift, (long story…). Our times together went pretty deep, and I think we all got pretty close over the trip. Logan and I performed at the talent show on Saturday. I thought it went rather well. I’ll post the video of it when Mike hands over the footage. Speaking of which, I should probably ask him for that.

It was also really good to get together with my friends from school again. I know I didn’t see everyone, (Sorry guys, I did have children to attend) but I’m really glad that I got together with Tim, Justin, Derrick, Bryan and Steve for some good talks. I needed that big time. It was also cool to see everyone else in passing during the weekend. I don’t know when I became a hugger, but it happened there. I don’t even like people accidentally brushing me in line, and I gave out a billion hugs!

Things are starting to get back to normal now. It’ll be nice to have spring break over with so that we can start seeing the students on a regular basis. I miss those guys… I’m really looking forward to youth tonight!

What am I forgetting???

2009-03-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

We're gearing up to take off to Calgary, and I can't shake the feeling that I'm forgetting something for the trip...

1. Signed up for the conference? Check.
2. Place to stay? Double check. Long story...
3. Vehicles? Check, we're picking those up in a couple of hours.
4. Route? Questionable. Mike claims to know the way, so my next post could quite possibly be from Whitehorse.
5. Place to stay on Sunday night? Check. We're registered to stay at the Tunnel Mountain Resort on the way home.
6a. Tunes? iCheck.
6b. Track 4? BWA HAHAHAHAHA!!!
7. Leaders? Check.
8. Kids? Check.
9. Place to shower? Yup.
10. Paper work? Binder's on my desk.
11. What else...

Ugh, I just can't shake that feeling! Regardless of what we forget, it's going to be a great weekend. We've got a good group coming out. I'm looking forward to hanging out with them. I'm also quite looking forward to seeing my friends who are still back in Calgary. All in all, I think this is going to be a sweet time. I just think I might be forgetting something. AHHH!!!

Addicts and the rock star life

2009-03-16T11:53:00.000-07:00

Tonight I'm helping out with a group that meets in our church called Celebrate Recovery. They exist as a secondary support group for people going through programs like AA. These are people who are going through some serious addictions. Programs like AA are fantastic, and these guys are not looking to rob people from those places; but those programs mention very little about God and how He can help people in the recovery process. AA's 12 step program, and some other similar programs do make mention of surrendering to a higher power. Celebrate Recovery wants to identify that higher power as God, and to give these people a second group for support and accountability. Celebrate recovery doesn't just reach out to problem drinkers either. They're set up to give support to anyone with an addiction. I'm pretty stoked to be helping out.

Yesterday, Logan and I worked for about three hours on the song we're going to be playing for Legacy Youth Conference. They've got a band competition going on in the afternoon both days. If I may say so myself, (and I do) it's going to be legendary. It's a bit of a secret project; so I can't give out the details right now. We're going to be recording it, so fear not. For the two people who read this, (hi Mom) I'll post the video on here.

The YMCA and a lesson in Middle School etiquette

2009-03-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

Man, you'd think it'd be easier to find a place to shower in Calgary. We're taking a group of students next weekend to Legacy Youth Conference, and while we're there, we're staying at a church. Although this option is free, there are a couple of minor drawbacks.
1: There are no beds.
2: There are no showers.
The bed thing I can live with. I could probably sleep on a pile of loose Lego® if I had to. But going without a shower for two days is out of the question. We could do the sponge bath thing; but that just feels wrong. The crappy part about searching for a place to clean up is that Google keeps showing me Bed Bath and Beyond locations. I'M NOT BUILDING A BATHROOM!!! In any case, I found a YMCA that's about three minutes up the road from where we're staying. The drop in price is a little steep, so I'm phoning to see if they can give us a group rate.

Yesterday I hung out with a couple of our middle school guys. I hooked up the Wii to the projector and sound system in the Youth Center and pulled out a couple of couches. The day wasn't exactly what I'd call a run away success. It was fun, I just wish more guys would have shown up. Still, it was cool to hang out with the two who did come out. I've also learned a couple of things from yesterday. Mostly, have a "church approved" iPod hooked up to the sound system, and don't let them play Condemned 2 on a giant screen. 'Nuff said.

Guys night and the annexation Miketopia

2009-03-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

Last night was guys night. A poorly attended, but freakin' fun night of virtual boxing, floor hockey, florescent beverages (Jones Soda), junk food, belching, flatulence, and attempted beard growth. Another element that I think contributed to the manliness of the night was the addition of Dad's Old Fashioned Root Beer.* There's nothing manlier than crackin' open an ice cold fakesky, (See what I did there?). Also adding to the dude factor, one of the guys who came last night has a pair of shoes that is falling apart at the seams. You can see his toes through the tips, the soles are rapidly deteriorating, and they smell like a neglected oppossum carcass. This too is a guy trait. It has nothing to do with being thrifty or lazy. Those shoes are so perfectly formed now, it'd be like parting with an eyeball to throw them out. I'm not the only one who feels like this either.

All said and done, I'd say it was a pretty good night. It'd be cool to get some more guys out next time so that Mike, Rob and I don't have to play hockey without a goalie. Despite this devistating handicap, we still held our own against five, count 'em, FIVE guys, who incidentally had a goalie.

In other news, the boss is out of the office this week, so I've emerged from my hovel to work in his sunlit and spacious abode. Seriously, I don't know how he scored this office. I've seen houses smaller than this. I'm contemplaiting moving all his stuff into the outer office and claiming this space as my own. It'd take a bit of work; but I've got a week to do it.

*Because I know that I'm impossible to shop for, a case or two of these is the perfect gift for any holiday. It also makes a great addition to a bag of Double Stuff Oreos.

The legend of Ringo

2009-03-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

This may not mean a whole lot to some people. If you're some people, feel free to skip this one.

So we have a student here who happens to play drums. A few weeks ago he came into the office and we asked him what he's been up to with his music recently. He informed us that he had been asked to play for a Beatles tribute band. As the conversation unfolded, Mike started calling him Ringo. Now, two, (or three?) weeks later, the name has stuck.

Ringo is a man of few words, not that he's shy or anything, but he's one of those guys who doesn't hog the spotlight, or even particularly want the spot light. This of course means that we want to bring as much attention to Ringo and his new name as possible; and what could possibly bring faster and more timeless notoriety than a theme song?

So Mike went searching iTunes for a suitable song that would be both catchy, and awesome. Long story short, he found that song.

I'm in the preliminary stages of learning this song, and when it's done, it will be a masterpiece. We plan on performing it live, complete with backup vocals and Ringo, starring as himself, in the live musical production of the century! My ultimate goal is to record the song with the guys, and make a music video out of it, which will in turn win us fame and fortune!!! Actually, it'll probably win us a truckload of poverty due to the lawsuit that Riders in the Sky would lay on us. It'd be totally worth it though.

I'll let you know when my dream becomes reality.

First

2009-03-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

It seems like everyone and their dog has one of these public diaries, and as a slave to trends, it was only a matter of time before I would fall to the siren song of yet another online time leech. As if facebook wasn't bad enough already... Meh, whatever, time management is over rated anyway.

My true intention for starting this alternative to day time TV is that I've only got four months left in Abbotsford, (as absolutely EVERYONE is so keen to remind me of whenever they ask, "So how long ya here for?") and I've got very little to show for it in the way of archived information. I'm not a scrap booker, (much to the delight of my dad) and even if I was, for some reason I always forget to bring a camera to anything that has "fond memory" potential. I do however enjoy writing, and for some reason I'm motivated to write if there's potential that others will read it and enjoy it.*

So there you have it. This is my attempt at preserving the rest of my time here in Abbotsford. I'll probably also get into all that other blogging stuff, like posting things that I think are worth checking out, ranting, lamenting, spouting profound statements of the obvious, and more than likely forgetting to update for months at a time.

It is in that spirit, (or whatever the expression is) that I will launch into my first post... tomorrow. I've already wasted twenty minutes starting my account and writing this.

Later.

*This is assuming a lot, but whatever, this is MY blog. MINE!!!